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Last Sunday afternoon we wrapped up Doubt with our last performance, and 15 minutes later were hard at work tearing the set apart. Four weekends felt like the right amount of time to me for a run. I'm always sad to have a show over: you may work with the same people again or do the same play again, but it's never quite the same. Each production is it's own unique experience that can never be recaptured again, on stage or off, and that is part of what is so wonderful about it. It is transient, but there is a beauty in that transience, just as there is in a sunset. It happens every day and yet each in unique, and were it not so it could easily become mundane. Even within a production every performance is different. The wonder of live performance is that it never is the same twice but wholly unique. And we as actors and audience are changed by the experience, in large ways and small, and do not come out of it the same as we went in, not if we are truly experiencing it. The end of a production means leaving the character behind, parting ways after spending so much time together, but I am always conscious that a piece of the character stays with me. I am a different person than I would have been for not portraying this role (which is why I believe that a good actor is not someone who can play any role, but is someone who knows what roles they should play). The experience of being in a show is too an interesting observation of human nature. You can throw a group of random people together, potentially where none of they have ever met each other before, and by the end of the show have a group that functions as a family. Certainly this does not always happen, most actors probably have at least one story of a completely dysfunctional cast, but when it happens there is a magic there and it translates to what you see on stage.


And the show is over, and these people you have spent hours and hours with over the course of weeks or months you may not see again. But something special has been created that goes beyond the performance. It is, I think, akin to what is meant in the Christian sense when we talk of the Body of Christ: together we are something that we could not be alone, and yet without any loss of our individuality. C. S. Lewis compares the Christian view with others that seek a Oneness of humanity, pointing out that Christianity differs in its thoughts on this in that as the Body of Christ we are more ourselves, not less, for being one in God. A theater performance is much the same: we need to be our unique selves in order to create something together that is more than the sum of its parts. It is a paradox, but one thing life has taught me is that "paradox" is not a synonym for "false," however much it means we may not understand.